There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
This is not my ceiling
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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