Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize