Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
