so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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