with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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