we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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