Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
