im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
