my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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