i would punch a child for taco bell
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
