if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
