The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
