Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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