Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
sarcasm needs its own font
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just want nice things and good sex
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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