there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
