I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
