carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
