the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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