Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize