Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
