I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
