I didn't shave. On purpose
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
