Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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