You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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