Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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