Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
