In the future we'll all be gay
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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