We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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