I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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