i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
