i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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