That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
