I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
