jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
