Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
