So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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