she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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