Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
