my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
