To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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