Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize