He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
