I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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