You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
