i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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