his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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