haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Randomize
