just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
