Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
