i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
