Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
