we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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