What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
