chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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