i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize