What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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