I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
