your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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