I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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