I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
