There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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