I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
