We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize