But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
